Still here

Thank you gals!

Went to the Ob who just said that the other embyro would disolve into the uterus or worse case scenario I would bleed it out but as Twin A is sitting higher in the uterus then it should not be effected. Phew! He believes that either way it shouldn't be there on my next u/s.

The Ob also checked my sugar and guess what? I have to do the glucose test earlier than most as I am showing a little sugar which obviously isn't good this early on. I will be doing that test on the 4/1 and next Ob appt on the 6/1.....

We have decided that we are going Private - Sydney Southwest Private Hospital - Liverpool. I mean what is the point of having private health insurance if you are not going to be using it?

Now can I complain about being nauseous? No. Ok I won't by know that it ain't pleasant!

Ultrasound - Take 2

An update:

Twin A - 182 h/b, measuring exactly 9 weeks
Twin B - Had not grown from the last u/s and there was no longer a heartbeat.

Not sure how I am feeling but I know that I am thankful for having one little fighter. Am going to the Ob this afternoon to find out where to from here.....will keep you updated.

Ultrasound

After reading my last few entries I noticed that I hadn't really updated you on my ultrasound the week before last. I cannot believe that I haven't.

To recap, I had 7 eggs retrieved of which 1 was deemed abnormal. Out of the 6, 2 reached the blastocyst stage. They were deemed a Grade 2 and a Grade 3. It was not recommended that I freeze the Grade 3 as it was not deemed to be strong enough to survive a thaw. We elected to transfer both.

On the day of the ultrasound I did not think that I would have two, actually I was doubting that I had anything in this uterus of mine. Well it turns out that I do have two little ones. We will call them Twin A & Twin B. There is a BUT though.....

Twin B is lagging behind and they do think that by my next ultrasound (tomorrow) that he will not be there.

The stats were

- Twin A, measuring exactly 7 weeks, h/b 137bpm
- Twin B, measuring 5 weeks & 6 days, h/b 85bpm

I didn't know how to feel. Excited as something WAS there, sad and disappointed that Twin B was fighting so hard to stay with us. The sonographer told me that it was best that I see my Ob immediately for a quick consult and he just reiterated that there wasn't much that he could do and that as most u/s happen at 12 weeks, most spotting that occurred in the 1st 12 weeks was probably due to miscarrying a twin.

I still am not sure how to feel and pray that tomorrow shows Twin B on par with Twin A but know that this is probably not likely.

It's time

....that I got back into blogging and keeping promises. You have to forgive me as if I am going to post recipes then I want to show you some pictures and when I did all my cooking in the last few weeks I was too lazy to get out the camera but I PROMISE that I will take photos soon. I mean my food probably isn't restaurant quality but it always is tasty. Will come back with those recipes and photos soon.

An update on me, well you will know by reading through subsequent posts after my BFP that I was scared. Scared to move on from infertility and scared to move on and leave cyber friends still struggling with infertility. I am still scared.....8 weeks and 5 days pregnant but still very much feeling exactly the same. I am though believing that I am pregnant more and in fact we told our parents, brothers, sisters and grandparents and a few friends but I am scared that I will have to tell them something else in a few weeks and I don't want to.

On another note, I was reading another infertility blog, http://barrenmare.typepad.com/ regarding her relationship woes as a result of her infertility and honestly I can so relate. If you read back into my blog you will find the odd hints that D. was so against IVF. He did not want to go down that path....actually he did not want to go down the path of children any time soon as he was having so much fun being 30 and living his life his way. Well I can reveal that I gave him his ultimatum, either I leave or you come on board and grow up (as much as men can). Well he obviously chose the later and I know within the last few weeks that he is NOT regretting his choice. Not so much when I told him that I was pregnant but when he was revealing it to his family, he had a smile that went from one end of his face to the other and there was no stopping him. Each and every day he asks how I am feeling and you know what, that little question shows me that he wants this just as much as I do and that to me is utter bliss!

I feel for Barrenmare and other women at this stage in their relationship. This post was not a comparison but rather an expression of knowing what BarrenMare is going through and telling her that I have been there and try and remain focused. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel.....I promise.